Understanding Teenage Behavior: Why Freedom Matters

Written by

Amna Khalid

Image source: Freepik

Adolescence or teenage years is a phase of life that is characterized by a number of hormonal, mental, and physical changes. The teenagers often feel that they are like a fork in the road: no longer children, but not fully adults either. 

This transitional stage of confusion and clarity often makes them obstinate, short-tempered, and impolite. But in reality, their minds are going through fast shifts, which force them to behave differently and make them crave one thing more than anything else: freedom.

Teenage freedom is not optional; it's a basic need that must be fulfilled. Parents should understand and evaluate its significance; otherwise, nothing will make sense, and the teenage development will be at risk. Let's understand what kind of freedom it is. Why does it matter, and how should parents respond?

The Meaning of Freedom:

The freedom for a child is entirely different from what we call freedom for adults. It’s a space or privacy given to a child where they can think, learn, explore, and make decisions freely for positive personality growth.

According to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), freedom is defined as:

“A child’s freedom refers to the set of civil, social, emotional, and developmental liberties granted to every person under 18, enabling them to express themselves, think independently, practice their beliefs, participate in decisions affecting them, enjoy privacy, and grow in a safe, nurturing environment free from abuse, exploitation, or discrimination.”

Why Teenagers Need Emotional Freedom?

As teenagers approach, children start behaving differently. Their minds begin to fill with basic questions about life, such as: Who am I? What is my purpose? How do I react to life situations? 

These questions make them restless and develop an urge to find the answers for which they require freedom. The freedom to think independently and to make choices, either big or small.

In reality, teenage behavioural changes and emotional instabilities are often misunderstood by society. Parents find it challenging to balance setting rules with giving their teens the freedom they need.

Out of care, they may sometimes exert too much control. As a result, teenagers can feel suffocated and, rather than becoming more obedient, may act impulsively.

Teenage Brain Development:

At adolescence, the brain undergoes two fundamental changes. First, a layer of myelin is formed around the axon, which acts as an insulator and increases the speed of message transmission. 

Second, the brain removes weaker and unused connections between neurons to work more efficiently.  Overall, the brain undergoes massive growth, especially in areas related to decision-making, emotions, and risk-taking.

Image Source: Freepik

These changes in the brain make teenagers naturally curious and leave them in a constant search for independence.  And if not handled properly, they are at a great risk of getting into depression, abuse, eating disorders, and other behaviours.

Read more: How Does Gut Health Affect Your Brain?

How Should Parents Respond to Teenage Behaviour?

Give Direction: Teenagers are strong, intelligent, and have quicker picking abilities than their parents. What they need is the right direction, not control or command. Parents can guide their teenagers by setting the right boundaries at the right time while allowing them to grow freely. As a parent, it is more important to listen to your teenagers than to provide advice.

Don’t Judge: Teenagers are at that stage of life where their emotions are intense and unpredictable. They can behave weirdly and say or do things that are not expected. 

Parents should never judge teenage behavior or make them feel guilt or shame. They should try their best to understand their feelings and intentions. Speak to them gently, guide them, and show them how to respond in a better way next time.

Image Source: Pexels

Give Credibility: Teenagers are not fully developed, but they want to handle their lives on their own, choose their own way, and develop their own identity. The healthiest way to handle it is to give them small responsibilities or tasks of their own choice. Acknowledge their achievements, appreciate their attempts, and guide them toward better choices.

Build Trust: Parents can only understand their teenagers' minds by developing a relationship of trust and friendship. For this purpose, firstly, they should work on themselves. So that their children can trust them completely. They start seeing them as a role model with whom they can share anything without the fear of judgment.

Conclusion:

Understanding teenage behavior is not only a responsibility, but it is also a basic necessity. When parents choose empathy over control, teenagers feel valued and understood, which nurtures their emotional stability.

Instead of reacting impulsively, they grow into mature individuals who are capable of exploring life with clarity and emotional strength.

It’s the responsibility of parents to provide every child with the freedom and space to grow so that they may develop into confident, thoughtful, and emotionally stable individuals.

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References:

1. Development of the Teenage Brain by Choudhury, S., Charman, T., & Blakemore, S. J. (2008). Published in Mind, Brain, and Education, 2(3), 142–147.

2. Understanding the Teen Brain and Building Strong Relationships: A Foundation for Supporting Healthy Decisions by Hatch, J., Yaugher, A., Pay, C., & Meier, C. (2024).